Softball Team — 2009
An Epic Day!
The Porter Belly's Arch Softball team truly had an epic day of drinking, sleep deprivation, and victory's...
The day begun with the Annual Porter Belly's Golf tourney where catcher Eric Mangan (who has been known to run the fairway in less then 30 seconds), JM, Gill, Cuervo, Keith, Brown, Lucas (Red Bull & Vodka) and Erik Porter played 18 holes while consuming about 60 beers on a extremely hot day. "I really did not how we were going to do this," Matt Brown said after John Morgan nailed a birdie on the Par 3-180 yards at 11:30 in the morning. The PB Team shot minus 4 and plus 5 respectively while crushing cans of Miller High Life LITE!
The team had a doubleheader later that night against Wolf & Co Accounting and went on to split the first two games of the playoffs, leading to a decisive Game 3 next Monday night. The first game was a brutal loss for the team — we took a 14-5 lead going into the bottom of the 4th and ended up losing 18-17. "The booze was flowing through the veins after the open bar, and then we didn't have any more for the first game and that really affected our team," Erik Porter said after the loss. "It was one of those games you can chalk up to being drunk and then stop drinking, which makes no sense at all," Steven Gill who went 30 hours without sleep and played the tourney and both games.
So after game 1, Stud Call up, Matt Denman decided to go get a 30 pack to be source of fuel for our team, and it worked! Porter Belly's bounced back with a 18-7 victory in which Jon Lucas and Matt Mckenna hit bombs deep into the summer night. "I really wish we could have held onto the first game, but that is Arch Softball, you never know how the ball will bounce and I am glad we bounced back with authority in the second game," said John Morgan, Team Manager, President of Day-to-Day Operations and potential 8-hole hitter in the line-up, as he is mired in a slump that is reminiscent of gribs in 2005. One thing is for certain — the team got through the doubleheader and still have a game to play to advance to the Finals (sponsored by Shamwow) next Monday night....
On to the numbers
- We are 1-3 in games following the Golf Tourney.
- Over the same time frame of 4 years, we are 39 -13 in days where we don't play in the golf tourney and get drunk....
- We are 1-1 when Gill doesnt sleep for 30 hours.
- We are 2-3 when Vogel Strikes out
- We are 2-0 when Vogel brings a 30 rack the following week
- We are 1-0 when JM yells you can make it to Mckenna, and then he gets doubled off.
Porter Belly's vs. the Cave Dwellars
Going into last night's game against the undefeated Cave Dwellars (who also beat us in the Arch Softball World Series last year), some players on the team were skeptical whether or not the President of day-to-day operations, Team Manager, and 3-hole hitter would be able to field a team to play. With injured player Matt Brown missing his second game in a row, Bash Brothers Eric & Keith out, Mckenna at a golf event, and Porter out with what the Team President is referring to as "prepping for Chesney", John Morgan had to put together a TEAM for the biggest game of the year. With help from Jon Lucas and no help from Matt Brown, we fielded 10 players and beat the undefeated Cave Dwellars 8-7 behind the strong Arch Softball arm of Jon 'Cuervo' Segal who gave up 2 earned runs over 7, including 4 shutout innings. "We was really dropping them into me with great precision and arch, it really kept their batters off their game," said Brian Mirek who went 3-4 with a RBI (this while in the 2 hole of the lineup and with his wife was in the stands). "I have to be honest, he really stepped up his game tonight also called a great game behind the plate," said Jon Segal afterwards.
Josh Vogel broke out of a slump with a 3-3 night at the plate and stellar defense behind Cuervo, turning a double play to end the game and seal the victory. "We have always had confidence in his ability, and even though he had a rough blind date the other night, he always remains focused," Josh Gould said to the local press (went 1- 3 with a 3 run bomb in the first to give Porter Belly's the early lead).
After the game, the Cave Dwellars first basemen was quoted as saying, "We had a good run guys," referring to their team's 14 game winning streak that was snapped by the Porter Belly's Team, who increased their season long streak to 4 games. "We're hot right now and playing with a lot of confidence", Steven Gill and team photographer at last night's game.
With the victory, the Porter Belly's Arch Softball team has moved into second place going into next week's game against Wolf. The winner of that game will seal home field advantage for the first round of the playoffs beginning on 8/24.
On to the numbers
- We are 1-0 when Brian Mirek bats in the 2 hole
- We are 2-0 when Gill bats Leadoff
- We are 2-0 when Brown does not play and gill bats leadoff
- We are 1-0 when the Bernster attends the game and talks the Ump out of his game
- We are 1-0 when drinking Miller High Life Light. Gill brought it.
- We are 1-0 after my walkoff hit last week.
- We are 2-0 when Gill plays shortstop
- We are 6-5 when Brown plays
Porter Belly's vs. WhiteHorse Tavern and Mentor Systems
It was a Hot and Steamy Night in the Boogiedown where the Porter Belly's Arch Softball team took the field in a doubleheader against the WhiteHorse Tavern and Mentor Systems. Both teams had beaten our team earlier in the season, however tonight would be much different.
In the first game against WhiteHorse Tavern, and with Scarlett Johansson at our side, we exploding for 7 runs in the bottom half of the first which including a bomb by none other then Josh Vogel, who on the way to the game was quoted as saying, "I have had sex with worse". That did not matter though as he followed by Pitcher Jon Segal (147 Arch Softball Pitches) with a single, and then slugger Eric Mangan with a Fielders Choice, then Denman with a an RBI Single which put us on our way to a season high 29 RUNS!
"It was nice to see our bats explode like.....", said Jon Lucas, who went 4 for 5 with 3 RBIs'.
Team President of Day to Day Operations, Team Manager, and 3 Hole Hitter, John Morgan went 4-4 with a game & season high 5 runs scored. "My job is to not only motivate the players with gratuitous photos of scantily clad women, but also to produce and since Gill was not here tonight, it made my job a lot easier. It's not easy looking at that guy."
Filling in nicely for absent Third Basemen Josh Gould, Erik Porter snagged a number of balls plus went 4 for 5 with 4 singles. "It's the best I have swung all year and I really feel like I am in a Arch Softball Groove right now". Porter Belly's won 29-3 and applied the Mercy Rule to their counterparts. It was nice to have a break in between the games but the night was not over as the team had to regroup to play The Mentor Systems.
"It's not as easy for me to go, then stop, and to go again", said Rightfielder Brian Mirek. We dont know exactly what he was referring to but the kid did go 2-7 with two sac fly's in both games and made the final out of the second game in which we won 14-4 to improve our record to 6-5 and in the playoffs if the season ended today.
"We came here to do two things, and that is to win both games," Matt McKenna said to the Boogiedown press. McKenna has broken out of a mid-season slump going a collective 11-13 over his last three games and is really putting a thumping on the ball. "I've personally known matt for several years, and it just seems like he is hitting everything they throw at him", said Catcher Eric Mangan (who by the way made two dazzling plays behind the plate to stop rally's in both games).
On to the Numbers
- We are 1-0 when brown gets the "Infield Fly Rule" applied to him
- We are 2-0 when Porter playe Third base
- We are 4-5 when Porter plays elsewhere
- We are 5-1 when Gill does not show up.
- We are 1-4 when Gill does show up.
- We are 2-0 when Team Manager and President of Day to Day Operations has a conversation with SI's Peter King on Sirius NFL Radio on Gameday
- We are 1-0 when Brown does not hustle to first base when he could have 'Easily had third'.
Just three more games to go!
Porter Belly's at .500 - 6/8/09 game report vs. the Cameron
A mere 5 days away from team icon and living legend Steven Gill's wedding, the Porter Belly's Arch Softball Team took the field with 8 regulars and two reserves (thanks for coming, Bryan and Denman). That was until Stud-Starting-Pitcher with an Arch Softball ERA of 9.63, Jon "High Archer" Segal, showed up moments before the game, saying, "I just couldn't miss this game" as he bolted to the OF to take some fly balls. So we ended up with 10 guys and one Mangan. referring to Eric Mangan, Team Manager and President of Day to Day Operations John Morgan said, "He's a professional Arch Softball Hitter." He later stated to the local media, "The guy is on fire!" and he went 3 for 4 with a run scored (had 5 consecutive hits over the last two games).
Even though the opponent's pitcher, Sammy the Fatman, attempted to cheat by increasing their score, the Porter Belly's Arch Softball team bounced back with 7 runs over the last two innings to come back in dramatic fashion for a 14-12 win. There were three home runs on this evening, one by RF Brian Mirek whose jack might have been an error, but thats not what he told his wife. The second was by Jon Segal, who didn't want to go past first base, as the runners in front, Eric Mangan & Brian Mirek (who are not known as modern day Ricky Hendersons), also wanted to stay on second and third. Segal somehow made it around all the bases to tie up the game at 11 going into the final inning. That set the stage for the top of the 7th in which Jon Lucas said, "This just might be the inning that catapults us for the rest of the season". Lucas lead off with a sharp single to left, followed by (but not forgotten) Erik Porter who took the Fatman's pitch to center for a single. Then, in stepped 2008-free-agent-acquisition Joshua Gould. "He's missed some games early here in the season, so you really don't know what you are gonna get from him", Matt Brown said before the at-bat. Well, Gould launched one to deep LCF where the Latinos were playing Soccer for a game winning 3 Run Homer! "I thought he was going to kill one of those guys out there", Matt Mckenna who went 2-4.
On to the Numbers
- Most importantly... We are 2-0 when Gill does not show up.
- We are 1-2 when Gill does show up.
- We have never lost when Gill does not show up.
- We are 1-0 when Mirek hits a single that is misplayed by the OF and then tells his wife he hit a Home Run. (I would do the same thing)
- We are 1-0 when Eric Mangan says," I want to move up in the line-up"
- We are 1-0 when Coors light is the beer of the night
- We are 1-2 when Bud Light is the Beer of the night
- We are 2-0 vs the Fatman's team, coincidentally, Matt Brown is 5 for 8 in those two games.
- We are 1-2 against the other three teams, coincidentally, Matt Brown is 1 for 9 in those three games.
- We have only won when Gill does not show up.
Game next Monday at 9pm.
Porter Belly's vs. the Cameron
On a Cold and Chilly night in The North Boogiedown, The Porter Belly's Arch Softball team took the field after a very poor performance last week (in which fans left the game early), came back with their heads up high and ready to 'get back after it'.
However, in the top of the first inning, Fat Sammy and his team dropped a 9 spot on us. The first 7 runs came without us getting even 1 out. "It was the worst first inning I have ever been involved with and I have been on many terrible teams," said Pat *Cuch*inotta, who had a huge two out, two run single in the bottom of the second to really get the rally going.
Now, the President of Day-to-Day Operations, Team Manager and Third-Spot-in-the-Lineup-Stud did score 3 runs, did have four HITS (GILL!) and did have the game winning Home Run that knocked in the final three runs to take the lead, however he was not available for comment after this heroic performance by the team. "That's the way he is, he is man of short words," said Steven Gill, who went a solid 3-4 batting for the first time in the 6th hole.
The team rallied for 4 runs in the second, 1 in the 3rd, 3 in the 5th, and then 5 in the 6th including the 'HOME RUN'. "The defense from the second inning on was awesome, left me shaking my head," said Fat Sammy (the pitcher from the other team). A couple of awesome snags by Zak (fill-in third basemen), an utterly ridiculous play by Gill going up the middle to snag the ball and then whip it to Porter, and of course the routine fly ball catch made by the Wookie in RF. Awesome Game Fellas. That was a demoralizing defeat for our counterparts...
Now to the numbers...
- We are 2-0 when Cuch strikes out once in a game
- We are 0-1 when Cuch strikes out twice in a game
- We are 1-0 when our starting catching combo does not come to the game
- We are 1-0 when Porter swings at the first pitch after being told not to swing at the first pitch
- We are 2-0 when Porter bats in the 5th hole
- We are 0-1 when Porter bats in the 4th hole
- We are 2-0 when Cuervo pitches
- We are 1-0 when Cuervo brings his chocolate groupie to the game
- And last but not least,
- We are 1-0 when Morgan hits a deep fly ball that is misplayed by the outfielder and ends up being the game winning 3-run Home Run
JM
Porter Belly's 2009 Season Opener against the Allston Bullets
After seeing 4 pitches in the top of the first that lead to 3 outs for the Porter Belly's Arch Softball team, then giving up 3 runs in the bottom part of the inning, the team did not fold or waiver as they went on to score 7 Runs in the second to take the lead that they would not give up. The team went on to win 14-9. "This team showed a lot of resilience," said Jon Segal, the winning pitcher for Porter Belly's on opening night and now tied for the league lead in strikeouts thrown.
Cuch is tied for the league lead in striking out with one, however he did only have one operational eye... which is one more strikeout than Matt Brown, who batted lead off and ended innings 3 times while at the plate — a modern day Arch Softball record. "He's a always been a slow starter, going back to his days in Amherst," said Jon Lucas (2-4, with a run scored). John Morgan, Team Manager and President of Day-to-Day Operations of the Porter Belly's Team and who went 1-3 with a huge RBI and run scored in the 7th, was quoted after the game, "We are very happy for Brown to get engaged and we will be supportive of him. But that time is over now and he needs to focus on his job at hand and we look forward to strong year from Brown."
Some Key Stats
- We are 1-0 when GILL does not play
- We are 1-0 when Eric Mangan (3-3) goes from first to third in 45 seconds.
- We are 1-0 when Zak falls on his back at home plate.
- We are 1-0 when Cuch Strikes out.
- We are undefeated when Gill does not play.
- We are 1-0 when Eric and Brian Mirek share catcher duties.
JM
